In the beginning, I thought it was
going to be a breeze when my husband, Robert, joined me working
full-time in my business. If anyone could do it, we could! We
already had a healthy relationship built on trust and respect. We
communicated well. We both strongly believed in what we were doing.
We understood the need to help each other with the children, keeping
the house, and with the business. We planned to allow for
fluctuations in income to keep stressing over money to a minimum.
Yet I still wasn’t prepared.
For anyone considering working
with your spouse, here are 3 Essential Boundaries for Entrepreneurial
Couples to help ease your transition:
1. Clarify
expectations for work/home.
Nothing can prepare you for the
blurring of boundaries and turf that occur as you transition into
working together. When you join together with your spouse, most
likely, both of you have experienced success throughout your careers,
and have developed your own working style. Suddenly you have a whole
new dynamic in your relationship with your spouse you must learn to
work through. I always knew that we had different gifts and talents:
Robert is very techie and he loves to write, and I am a people
person who is an administrative whiz. Even though I should have
probably seen it coming, I was still surprised at the difference in
our work styles. I multi-task all day long, and he prefers to work
on one project at a time. Just like being newlyweds all over again,
we had to put some effort into getting to know each other on a whole
new level to be able to work well together.
Beth Butler,
creator of the Boca Beth Program has some helpful tips for clarifying
expectations with your spouse. “I make us lunch each day and we
try to talk about BOCA BETH items that are pressing. It's our time
to reconnect - he works from home for the wine company he represents
and I work from home sharing my passion for second language learning
with young children. A funny mix, but it works! We talk about what
each of us has planned the next day so there are no surprises - and I
use that time to ask for his help. I can't expect him to guess what
I need so I have learned to be very specific.”
2.
Schedule time for love.
Most entrepreneurial couples complain
they have less time together than before. It is possible to work
beside your spouse in the same office all day long and barely speak
on a personal level. How difficult is it to turn off your cell phone
and take a walk with your love? It is imperative to make it a point
to schedule time for your relationship so that the business does not
overtake it. Robert and I plan ahead to sneak away for lunch or to
take a break at Starbucks. We have found if we don’t take the time
to schedule in these lunch or coffee dates, then they are less likely
to happen as we work to meet deadlines or get a project done. We
haven’t yet been able to master scheduling “regular dates”, but
its next on our list of priorities in order to help keep our close
relationship.
3. Schedule time for yourself.
It
can be a shock when you suddenly have so much time with your spouse.
In your previous life, they left at 7 AM and came home at 6 PM, and
then you discussed your day during dinner. Now you spend most (if
not all) of the day with them, and during dinner, there is nothing
new to discuss. Where is the time for you? Karyn Fagan, Founder of
Team Women, tells “We both have hobbies that we love outside of the
house so we have that important away time.”
Robert and I certainly have a long way to go as an Entrepreneurial Couple, but we have made it through our entrepreneurial “honeymoon” period. Each day, we work together to reach our goals and dreams. We understand when we help each other we will reach our dreams sooner, so we help each other wherever its needed!
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